On this week’s episode: The President keeps asking what his handcuff size is just in case … A 17-year-old reenacts every flight Noah’s ever taken on United … And Donald Trump catches Nancy Pelosi red-handed doing both THIS and THAT.

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Headline Sources:

We impeached the motherfucker but he’s not going anywhere:

Teenager steals plane and runs it into a fence: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/fresno-teen-plane-theft_n_5dfbee98e4b01834791dfce8

Trump threatens shut down over releasing aid to Ukraine: https://www.washingtonpost.com/us-policy/2019/12/20/trump-administration-demanded-democrats-strip-ukraine-aid-language-spending-package/

Trump thinks we need to make dishwashers explode again and thinks he’s The Godfather: https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2019/12/19/trump-was-impeached-dishwashers-that-go-boom-are-his-mind/

Visibly Damp Papa John’s Founder Says He Ate 40 Pizzas In 30 Days In Viral Interview: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/papa-johns-john-schnatter-40-pizzas_n_5ddd413ae4b00149f724b7cf

Trump officially launches the “Space Force”: https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/space-force-will-start-small-but-let-trump-claim-a-big-win/2019/12/20/dd781bfa-2393-11ea-b034-de7dc2b5199b_story.html