On this week’s episode: Andrew Yang will give you 50 bucks right the fuck now … We’ll round up the urinal suspects … And if you tape Sharpies to your fingers, that counts as having very big hands.

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Headline Sources:

Highlights from the primary debate: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/09/12/us/politics/democratic-presidential-debate-recap.html?action=click&module=Top%20Stories&pgtype=Homepage

Tasteless asshole whose family member died on 9/11 uses it as a chance to take political shots: https://www.realclearpolitics.com/video/2019/09/11/man_blasts_rep_ilhan_omar_at_911_memorial_ceremony_some_people_did_something_why_your_confusion.html

Bolton out: https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-49655279 and https://beta.washingtonpost.com/politics/boltons-departure-allegedly-pegged-to-disagreement-over-lifting-sanctions-on-iran/2019/09/14/98f7f096-d6f3-11e9-9343-40db57cf6abd_story.html

Underwater observatory vanishes: https://gizmodo.com/large-underwater-observatory-disappears-without-a-trace-1837897180/amp?__twitter_impression=true

YouTube un-bans/apologizes to far right channels: https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/youtube-reverses-course-apologizes-to-far-right-channels-unbans-them/

Solid gold toilet stolen from Blenheim Palace, birthplace of Winston Churchill: https://www.cnn.com/style/article/uk-blenheim-palace-gold-toilet-scli-gbr-intl/index.html