On this week’s episode: Heath pits Eli against Andrew in what many are calling the fairest debate ever … The far right proves that Liz Warren has the stamina we need to be our next President … And the White House consults with Dr. Evil and Serpentor about homeland security.

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Headline Sources:

Trump wanted to reinforce his border wall with a trench of snakes and alligators: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/10/01/us/politics/trump-border-wars.html

Text of the surprise witness’s letter: https://www.wonkette.com/wingnut-grifters-hold-stupid-presser-about-liz-warrens-marine-boy-toy-lets-laugh-at-them

The best headline ever: https://splinternews.com/worlds-biggest-dipshits-hilariously-mangle-hit-job-on-e-1838750767

Liz Warren’s epic Tweet: 

Vaping is Bad…or IS it? Probably? Who cares: https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2019/10/03/mayo-clinic-vaping-study-chemical-fumes-blame-lung-illnesses/3850859002/