On this week’s episode: Bill Barr charges Joe Biden with not being his boss in the first degree … Eli will try to be legally declared a fly now that he knows shitting in Mike Pence’s hair is one of the perks … And Gretchen Whitmer almost gets kidnapped by nihilists but they were a little too exhausted.

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Headline Sources:

FBI Says a Michigan Militia Plotted to Kidnap Gov. Gretchen Whitmer: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/10/08/us/gretchen-whitmer-michigan-militia.html

Lindsey Graham has COVID and is a chicken: https://www.cnn.com/2020/10/09/politics/south-carolina-debate-lindsey-graham-jamie-harrison/index.html

Trump chickens out of virtual debate: https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/oct/09/trump-biden-debate-canceled-rally

Trump’s $1.8 trillion stimulus proposal faces opposition from Pelosi and Senate GOP: https://www.cnn.com/2020/10/10/politics/stimulus-talks-pelosi-senate-gop-trump/index.html

Trump angry at Bill Barr for not arresting Joe Biden yet: https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/trump-barr-durham-russia/2020/10/09/05ed9842-0a40-11eb-a166-dc429b380d10_story.html

Highlights from the VP debate: https://www.washingtonpost.com/elections/2020/10/07/vice-presidential-debate-live-updates/