God awful movies
Latest Episodes
32: Mercy Rule
On this week’s episode, Eli, Noah, and Heath join forces for an atheist review of Kirk Cameron’s Mercy Rule; the tale of a scrappy, old-fashioned junkyard owner fighting back against socialized waste removal. And while it’s certainly the least “god” of any movie we’ve reviewed so far, it’s far from the least “awful.” Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.
31: Miracles From Heaven
This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath take a field trip to see Miracles From Heaven in the theater on opening weekend. Red carpet!!! Eli wore Versace, Noah wore Nike, and Heath wore a smile. Nobody else was happy. Join them in this fair and balanced review of a story about how Jesus gives deadly diseases to young children, and why doctors are to blame. Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.
30: A Matter of Faith
This week, Eli, Noah, and Heath join forces once again to take on the most blissfully ignorant film they’ve encountered so far. Join them for an atheist review of A Matter of Faith; a film about a father whose daughter’s ignorance is challenged by a college education. After her biology professor has the audacity to teach true things, instead of dad’s favorite fairytales, dad has no choice but to challenge the evolutionist to a debate that nobody thinks he can win. Because he’s wrong. And he’s debating a guy who’s right. And has a PhD. Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.
29: If Footmen Tire You, What Will Horses Do?
On this week’s episode, Eli unearths the single craziest piece of batshittery in the history of film. If Footmen Tire You, What Will Horses Do? is a gratutiously titled red-scare propaganda piece that mixes Christian persecution fetish, cold war paranoia, and baffling inconsistent accents to create the most bizarre cinematic experience we’ve yet endured.— Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.
28: Risen
This week we meet a movie that’s out of our league, but only by a little. Join Eli, Noah, and Heath as they head out for a field trip and learn how the Jesus story would have played out had it been a buddy cop flick in our atheist review of Risen.—You should really check out the preview for next week’s movie. It’s more insane than you can possibly imagine: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7HytrGnnz8 Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.
27: I'm in Love with a Church Girl
This week, former senior writer for the Onion and current writer for Comedy Central’s @Midnight Jocelyn Richard joins us to break down a story about a man and a woman, and that’s pretty much it. This conflictless love story pits master thesbian Ja Rule across from the girl from Cuttin’ Da Mustard and generates precisely the kind of onscreen chemistry that casting would suggest. Join us for a story of love, all-inclusive resort plugs, and unatoned felonies in I’m in Love with a Church Girl.— Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.
26: Unconditional
In this week’s episode, Eli, Heath, and Noah join forces once more to take on a film that snuck just enough god stuff in to make the “faith” category on Netflix. It’s the story of a woman on the hunt for the man who killed her husband, even though the only description she has to work with is “african american male.” So listen in as we desperately try to fill an entire episode with a movie where nothing actually ever happens; Unconditional.— Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out the band’s Facebook page.
25: Christian Mingle
This week, Eli, Heah, and Noah are joined by the hilarious Chelsea Davison to break down a heartwarming story of petty problems, woeful lack of chemistry, and filling out webforms. Christian Mingle tells the story of shallow, paternalistic views on imagined white people problems amidst the backdrop of a storm-ravaged town in Mexico that just stays storm ravaged.—If you’d like to hear more from Chelsea Davison, you can follow her on Twitter, or check out her website.— Our theme song was written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more from them, you can check out their Facebook Page.
24: WWJD 3: The Journey Continues…
In this week’s episode, we polish off the grand finale of the WWJD trilogy with an installment that maintains the series’ continuity by having nothing to do with the other ones, just like the sequel. Dr. T joins us to recount a story of tragedy, heartache, and not hurting anyone.If you’d like to follow Dr. T on Twitter, trust us, you’ll just want to click here.Our theme song was written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more check out their Facebook page.